Is this how you sometimes feel after having an insurance claim? Hope not!
The soullessness of your corporation is something to stun me. I am myself a victim and instead of being a man of health and honor to the community, I am now a relic of humanity just back from the hands of a surgeon who made an honest effort to restore me to the form in which I grew to manhood estate.
Let me review my case. I carry an accidental policy in your company by the terms of which you agree to pay me $50 per week during such time as I am prevented working because of an accident.
A week ago I went around on Sunday morning to a new house that is being built for me. I climbed the stairs, or rather the ladder that is where the stairs will be when the house is finished, and on the top floor I found a pile of bricks which were not needed there. Feeling industrious, I decided to remove the bricks. In the elevator shaft was a rope and pulley and on one end of the rope was a barrel. I pulled the barrel up to the top and after walking down the ladder, fastened the rope firmly at the bottom of the shaft. Then I climbed the ladder again and filled the barrel with bricks. Down the ladder I climbed, three stories mind you, and untied the rope to let the barrel down. The barrel was heavier than I was and before I had time to study the proposition I was going up the shaft, my speed increasing every minute. I thought of letting go of the rope but before I had decided to do so I was so high up that is seemed more dangerous to let go than to hang on–so I held on.
Halfway up the elevator shaft I met the barrel of bricks coming down. The encounter was brief but spirited. I got the worst of it and continued on my way toward the roof. That is, most of me went on but my epidermis clung to the barrel and returned to earth. Then I struck the roof at the same time as the barrel struck the cellar. The shock knocked the breath out of me and the bottom out of the barrel. Then I was heavier than the empty barrel and I started down the shaft while the barrel started up. We met in the middle of our journey and again the barrel upper cut me, pounded my solar plexus, marked my shins, bruised my body and skinned my face. When we became untangled, I resumed my journey downward and the barrel went higher. I was soon at the bottom and stopped so suddenly that I lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope. This released the barrel which was at the top of the shaft, and it fell three stories and landed squarely on top of me and it landed hard too.
Now here’s where the heartlessness of your company comes in. I sustained five accidents within two minutes. Once my journey up the shaft when I met the barrel of bricks, second when I struck the roof, the third when I met the empty barrel, the fourth when I struck the bottom, and the fifth when the barrel struck me. Your agent states that it was only one accident and not five and instead of receiving payment at the rate of five times $50, I am entitled to one accident at $50. I therefore, enclose the policy and ask that you cancel same as I have made up my mind that henceforth I am not to be skinned by either a barrel or an insurance company.